I’m certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy as both a therapist and supervisor. What is EFT, you ask? Great question!
EFT stands for Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and is recognized as one of the most successful approaches to couple and family therapy with recovery rates between 70% – 75% and an improvement rate of 90%!
EFT considers the central questions we often ask ourselves in our most important relationship: “Do I really matter to my partner? Will she/he be there for me when I need them the most? Do I feel safe and secure enough in this relationship to be my real self, with all my failings?” These questions are often at the root of what couples fight about: the emotional bond and security in their relationship. When we fear or suspect that the answer to one of these questions is “no” or “maybe,” it can cause us to feel isolated and alone and can result in negative patterns of interaction that lead to feelings of distance and disconnection. We think we’re arguing about who should do the dishes each night, but the reason we can’t resolve the conflict is most often due to our vulnerable fears and longings that are too scary to feel or express to the other. They go underground and we fight about surface things that aren’t the real issue
A relationship is like a dance: couples move together, react to each other and sometimes step on each other’s toes. Ouch!! Loneliness, disconnection, and a sense of rejection can follow these “dances.”
I will help you discover and step out of your particular negative dance and create a new way to relate that is safer, closer and more satisfying.
EFT provides a safe environment in which I will come alongside to help you understand and identify your particular negative pattern of interactions so that you can discover the painful feelings that perpetuate these patterns, develop understanding of and empathy for each other, and learn new patterns of interacting. Once you understand this “dance” of disconnection that happens between the two of you, you can then learn a new dance of emotional safety and connection so that you can weather together the inevitable stresses of life.